Change inside and the outside will follow.


Every set back or dip in the road is merely an opportunity to learn; to stretch yourself a little bit further; to step closer to your true self. I have spent the last few weeks in one of those dips. Feeling trapped by the disappointments in life. Feeling forlorn and (as my wife calls it) throwing a pity party for myself.

As it typically happens, I am coming out of that better off than before. Ready to take that next step and be better from the journey. I learned an important lesson. One that I hope to carry forth into moments to come. The lesson is:

The changes that I want to make to myself must be made now in my current situation and settings. I mustn’t waste energy on trying to adapt the situations and settings to make my internal changes easier.

I feel stuck in job that I don’t like. When I look back I think I have felt that way for most of the past fifteen years that I have been in that career. I now know that the career is not what I am here to do. It is not my passion. That’s OK, it pays the bills and … well it is a job. Many people don’t have that problem. I can start to make changes towards something that is more in alignment with my passions in life. The important thing is to not feel despondent because I am stuck. I am not; it will just take time to make the changes.

I feel stuck in a house that I don’t like living in. Don’t get me wrong it is a beautiful home and a wonderful part of the world. However, my house has the unfortunate feature of being located between the homes of two of the biggest @$$holes I have had the pleasure to know. This has caused me a lot of grief. I want to live in a situation that brings peace and love, not animosity and constant negativity.

However, I have come to know that I am in this situation for a reason. Those neighbors are here to teach me that I need to learn to let go of my own anger. Instead of running from it and trying to pretend like it doesn’t exist. I need to look it square in the face, thank it for helping me to get where I am in my life, and then let it leave with its bags packed. Being in the situation that I am in allows me to confront that part of me.

So the important thing is that I don’t need to wait until the external situations are a certain way. I need to make the changes within me now in my current situation. The situations will handle themselves. I can’t control them. The only thing that I have control over is how I am in the situations that present themselves to me.

Am I living in peace…in love…in joy? That is really all that matters. The rest will catch up when the time is right.


4 thoughts on “Change inside and the outside will follow.

  1. Wow, awesome. Thanks for sharing! I really liked how you said “I am in a situation for a reason.” I’ll be applying that sentence to my daily life. 🙂

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